High Holidays (aka Bong Shalom)

by JinLiHai

Hohoho mofo’s; JinLiHai, the least Xmas friendly cat this side of West Taiwan; raised on big family gathering, and Boney M’s Christmas cd playing on repeat for 18 years on end (the CD refused to die). Now that I’m in a foreign country, I can be as unfestive as possible; the closest I have to come to Christmas is teaching some vocabulary to children, frankly, I like it that way. Call me a Scrooge, but am I the only one for who rampant consumerism mixed with fairy tales = family get together cookoff’s aren’t the best idea? Am I the only Marxist/Fascist who thinks instead of one day of big pay days for certain companies; we should instead try more holidays, more family incentives; more pay days, call it things like : family day, remembrance day, togetherness day (very 2020 I think; Unity day, hows that for fixing the world economy? How about legalized marijuana job influx while we’re wishing for an Xmas holiday.

But unfortunately now, the world is an a flux; and it’s at times like these, that we need to be getting high together more than ever. Young couple, old couples; light a J and sit in front of the fire, and reflect upon the roles you have in each other’s lives. Think about the year and all you have endured and accomplished together. For the single cat’s alone and unable to get together, hit a big ol’ B of the Christmas tree, and see how you really are where you’re meant to be, and if that’s not the case, well, you’ve got one week left before new year starts. All alliteration aside; JinLiHai, in the spirit of the dude is staying high, thanks to his BP combination. His school has generously given him a paid holiday and his asian gal is happy as well. A few truth bombs were dropped, but with all this fake news going around it feels refreshing. As refreshing as pipe toked gym session or morning football passing, the air here is cold. It’s so cold due to our Pacific humid icy winds, that your faithful narrator is now bearding, double pantsing and finding deeper appreciation for the National and blaring this gem on repeat.

“It’s at timeslike these, that we need to be getting high together more than ever”

Double pants and entendres aside; I do realize the significance that these holidays carry; a bittersweet mix of nostalgia and the yin yang of family; and for those of you have a holiday, I guess that’s great (assuming you had a job, if not, I apologize, Taiwan puts me in a bit of a bubble), this year’s ultimo douchebag taking away our familiarity has shown us a few things; at least for me trying to spin this in a positive direction and not make it current by proudly claiming how I survived my overwhelming snow mountain of depression (it’s cute and sexy to say that now, cause hey, Honesty!); I would say it has shown us not to neglect our relationships, and hopefully, if your head isn’t so far up the toilet of the internet; that change in routine, can be rewarding. Too long we may have grown stagnant within the known; humanity was built upon the unexpected, which made the strong survive, and the weak, either a bit more cunning, or at least more capable. JinLiHai for one, found people using “depression” as an excuse is getting old pretty fast.

And that is why we keep high, to embrace the uncertainty and the unknown, that is why you, the faithful green thumbed enthusiasts stayed after you first blast of Super Cheese made you see yourself outside of yourself and didn’t get scared and stop smoking. For you the ones who don’t get parry, and who’ve grown adept at riding the inner waves. They say that the planets now are aligning; they say a vaccine is on the way. They say a woman could be president and they say everyone can be suave. But what do I say? I say that you keep your head high, you speak your truth, you are not afraid of relationships or the game of life, because as Bill Hicks said; it’s just a ride right?

“Yeah, Jin, well I have kids to feed! It’s not as chill as you make it out to be!”- Angry redditor

“That’s why I like to get high before I go on a first date”

“Life is what you make of it I say; that’s why I’ll get high before I go on a first date; you gotta embrace the unknown; you’ve gotta see if they’re up for anything. And if your marriage suffers from bad communication, then you should have been more brutal and honest while you guys were dating. As I always say; before you get married, you probably should do shrooms together once.” But I digress. Happy high holidays to the Jews, get your Mitzvah’s up; Kwanza to the Muslims, Hohoho to the few remaining Christians out there; we see you; we forgive but we won’t forget. All I know if, Jin’s got a stocking at school that some kids have all filled up; but I’m gonna get high and enjoy the holidays and try to puff that image out of my head for the time being.

Bong Shalom

Tao Te Ching Chapter 25

There was something formless and perfect
before the universe was born.
It is serene. Empty.
Solitary. Unchanging.
Infinite. Eternally present.
It is the mother of the universe.
For lack of a better name,
I call it the Tao.

It flows through all things,
inside and outside, and returns
to the origin of all things.

The Tao is great.
The universe is great.
Earth is great.
Man is great.
These are the four great powers.

Man follows the earth.
Earth follows the universe.
The universe follows the Tao.
The Tao follows only itself. – Lao Tzu