Superior Stoner Snacks of Taiwan

Getting high. You love it, I love it; and as we all know that a natural byproduct of getting high, is getting the munchies. And as any superior stoner worth his salt with a few years of stoning under his belt can tell you: if you’re gonna smoke often, then you should have some snacks in your pantry!

Having grown up in South Africa, and not having that much money as a student, I can tell you that my Saffa munchies were usually not of the “highest’ Woolies level treats that I could manage. Sure I would have some left over sushi, or Eastern Food Bazaar in the fridge. Sure I would have some avo toast, or Woolworth’s Prawn Cocktail or Bacon Crackling chips. I would have some mangoes, or strawberries (I don’t even know how much they would cost now) or a bag of naartjies…but times do change.

I’ve been in Taiwan now for almost 7 years, and I have been getting high for most of them. In the course of my time, my munchies has gone through many a change. From when I was young and could binge hard at night on some breakfast shop chow…or the 711 or Carrefour runs at 10pm. Exploring all manners of liquid, savory, sweet and traditional Taiwanese snacks.

Now I think, for any young African who feels like enough is enough of working in Africa, and those who feel like they want to get out and teach English, and make some money or have an adventure, and who are still curious about what kind of treats there are, because you are such a huge “foodie”…this list is made for you! And it will be split in the following categories and their prices, just so you can get a general idea of what to expect.

Drinks:

Tasty drinks; they really are what makes the world go round and makes you smile after a long day. The drinks I find most enjoyable are:

Ovaltine Milk: R21

A good treat from a nice breakfast shop or tea stand, which Taiwan has many off. A nice chocolate taste for all you milo and hot chocolate fans out there.

Taiwanese green tea: R10.50

Always available at any tea shop or 711 or Family mart that go 24hours. Green tea is delicious, a neutral flavour with a nice amount of caffeine (not too much) that combined with a high, gives you a very cool blended buzz. Chilled in the fridge is super nice on a hot summer day. No sugar, no weird shit, just bottled tea, and something I drink daily.

Koh Coconut Milk/Water: R42

Need to recharge your electrolytes? Need fresh energy and a nice taste of the island? Well then, Koh Coconut Water is what you’re looking for. Found in Costco’s and convenient stores, its so easy and tasty. It comes in many flavors, and perfect for a weekend of sitting high on the couch after a cheat meal.

And for something with alcohol I would always go straight for the Suntori products from Japan. For a fun time party in the mouth, I recommend the orange flavor. It’s only 3% alcohol, and tastes like Miranda mixed with Orangina. Price R26

And if you want a real dive alcohol/green mix for a fat party by yourself for a cheap amount, I would recommend the Suntori Strong 0% sugar, 9% alcohol available in grape, lemon and grapefruit. This at a party or a beach = wavy times. I can think of a few Saturdays drifting in a hazy maze. Best served chilled, it has a strong, fresh fruity taste; with no artificial flavour burn. Crisp and fresh, and can knock you back rather quickly. Price R37

Little meals:

In Taiwan and China, they have a lot of little meals that one can get on the go, from either a 711 or a street vendor or a little next door night market. Night markets are always fun, with an assortment of fried foods, fruit juices, stinky tofu, fried chicken, or shawarma’s…but I digress. My favorite small meals for a hungry person include.

The Rice triangle: Price R15

In 711’s you can find a rice triangle filled with different fillings: Tuna, salmon, egg, crayfish, pork or chicken. The seaweed it wraps in a great compliment to the cold rice. A salmon one can go a long way, especially if you pack for a beach or mountain mission.

Scallion Pancake with egg: R15

A scallion rice pancake is a staple breakfast for many Taiwanese office workers. Calories and protein with a soy sauce on top, filled with what you want…cheese, bacon…sometimes if I wanna go HAM I get a hashbrown at the breakfast shop and stuff it inside, and then add my own cheese from home. Boom. You’re welcome. At my old home, there was a breakfast store open which was open in the morning and in the night with these tasty snacks and dumplings. Truly something one can indulge in easily.

On Uber eats we can also pig out, with a wide assortment of foods available. Tacos, burrito’s and salads, big chicken burgers; we’ll rather not talk about the pizza’s, as they are a lot more expensive and less tasty then anything fly you’ll find in South Africa. The sushi also does not come with avo, cream cheese, mayonaise, or deep fried tempura. The sushi here is basic and Japanese, and far more expensive then those 20 piece platters you are used to.

Savory snacks:

Lays Hokkaido cheese: R15

In Taiwan, the chips come in different flavors. Garlic crab, buffalo wings, lemon, curry, and my favourite, strong Hokkaido Cheese. Truly chips are all over the show here. You can get real squid chips (not my favorite, as their squid chips taste very fishy, almost like the real thing, which is something I think doesn’t work so well for a crisp) and crisps from all over, but Hokkaido cheese is one I’ll recommend. Its strong cheese, fragrant, and leaves a cheesy aftertaste. You’ll feel bloated and dirty after finishing a whole bag, but shared, it can make your eyes light up, and indulge in the rich flavours of Asia.

More fun snacks of the chip variety…Turtle chips, which are churro’s chips, which I like, because it’s not as thick and sugary as a regular Costco churro…no, it’s light and thin…crispy but with a little sugar spark, can really be enjoyed in a good movie sitting; and Uncle Saba’s poppadums are great, the lentil plain flavor and the sweet chili are the ones I recommend. The sweet chili really compliments the lentils, and packed with protein and nice fats; it’s good for some dirty gym bulking, that makes you feel like technically it’s not cheating. Available at Carrefour at R20 and R30.

and when you feel ready to get your sweet tooth on, then definitely Taiwan’s most famous gift you can give someone when coming for a visit, and one I gave to my granny as well, which she really enjoyed, are Taiwanese pineapple cakes. Basically a short bread, with preserved pineapple inside. A super snack for dessert, and a crumble sensation whenever you’re high, definitely on of the top snacks. Prices vary, but usually R100 for a box of 8.

I like the occasional brownie, frozen yogurts are rare, they have plenty of shitty cakes too, but for the last one that I will put down, is a very traditional snack, the Che Lung Bing. A pastry like dish which can be filled with many different things. I have tried, standard milk cream, milk cream and cranberries; chocolate; Oreo and cream; Ferrero Rocher and also cheese and egg. The Nai yo bing you will find at night markets, Uber eats, and all over the island. Fatty and decadent, they are ideal for a late night munch. Buy 2 or 3 at a time, mix the flavors and have yourself a lekker party.

Price: R10 for one, 3 gets you a discount.

And of course, when life gets you down and you just feel like a screw the world meal…Uber eats always has your back with some good old Korean Fried chicken, available everywhere, in a variety of flavors: soy, sweet and sour, spicy, garlic, ect. Always combined with french fries and freshly cut onions on top to make any day a little sweeter.

Price: R55

So many snacks, so little green; but I do hope that this makes you think a little bit more about the differences in tastes and snacks from all over the world. As always, stay lifted and stay high.

(if there’s anyone whose had experience and who’d like to add something I may have missed, then please let me know in the comments)

Jin Li Hai