The Big Reveal

End of the year again, and what a year it’s been. We’ve seen a rise in stupidity, saw new currencies, saw a world crumbling in many aspects, yet still at the same time rising into the heavens like the buildings we’ve seen in the Jetsons. Out of sight out of mind, so we’re adapting. The one thing I’ve learned this year, would be, that no matter how mental things are going out there; it’s not really that attached to your life and mission, no matter how much you think you’re mentally and emotionally invested into it. The left and the right are fighting about what you can and cannot say. The government is so bad that we have criminally low power…(in more way than one); all these things are in our fields, but adaptation has shown to be the way forward. We emerge less social, and more focused and educated than before…but at what cost?

Older, and now with less weed (reminiscing on the days I could sit in the dealers apartment and watch him weigh it; rather than just paying first, then waiting, then assuming that my amount will be 0.25 less than what I payed for); and more bills, I find myself channeling my small pipes more and more into what gives me meaning. The thoughts and dreams sown during these introspective meditations find me during the day…driving down the same dangerous roads with unaware drivers around me, and cops whose only real concern are traffic tickets…yet out of sight out of mind; and the rats have adapted. So to be a rat or a king, is something that appears post 30’s, and where you find yourself. The other day I went to a local restaurant/watering hole, observing the old foreigners…having their daily beers, making conversation boring to my ears:

“so, Christmas is almost here again huh?”

“Yeah, well I like Christmas. I like this time of the year.”

Christmas. For me that simply means teaching kids what is Santa and teaching them Christmas songs and vocabulary. But it’s all good, I told my kids today that Santa isn’t real. Some of them still choose to believe it. And so we see how people get suckered into cults and MLM marketing…but I digress. This is a blog about Mary Jane and I intend to honor her and share my experiences with her in Asia man! Firstly, let me just say, things are dry as a bone and super un-irie at the moment. My oils have evaporated; we can’t get IHerb here anymore because Taiwan’s customs are being cunts, requiring more documents and taking much longer to clear things. Down to one source, I keep my pipe as clean as I can, savoring every last crumb which isn’t even a 6/10 in terms of what you can find in SA. Hell, the shit I’m smoking, most of you reading would probably refer to as “kak weed” and proceed to surprise me with some lime green, crystalized fluff nuggets, smiling like God’s privates.

But when I do have my pipe, and hit that drag, the cosmic glue, that makes everyday seem uneventful and glued together becomes untangled; and I find myself dissecting each piece peacefully and seeing how they form together in the movie-esque snowflake that is my life; observing how your seeds start to grow…my dreams and children I teach. The relationships that you’ve developed and how you’ve fed them, hell, the other day my girl asked me to reveal my deepest fears, now that is a high to reflect on…

I don’t know if you have a psychologist or online councillor or best friend that you are truly comfortable enough with…but if someone you trust asks you what is that sadness inside of you, and you try to put it into words…the flood gates can open, and you reveal things that you didn’t even know were hiding there in the shadows. I opened up more than I ever did in front of anyone, and I don’t know if it was the Jane, with all her moments of articulation feeding the poetry; but the feeling was cleansing and cathartic. One where afterwards you’re shell shocked, but grateful that someone pushed you into articulation. I won’t reveal the full extent, but obviously we all share the same common themes: upbringing, choices in our youth and our habits that we have to do, as well as our hopes and fears for the future. Things which easily can create either a small, indescribable pool of sadness within that we decline to spend much time thinking about, since we are charged to graft and hustle and achieve the dream of one day showing our pad on Youtube Cribs or whatever we have at the moment.

The solution, is simply put condensed, no need to get self help books: find a hobby that can take you into your own world where your progression give you a sense of happiness and accomplishment. If you don’t have a hobby, then smoke weed and sift through your emotions and find what you are longing for; and if you already have a hobby, then smoke and go deeper into it until it consumes you and blocks out whatever they’re trying to distract you with in your newsfeed. Instead of plugging into the matrix and into the Metaverse; perhaps plug out and zone in some vitamin D in the sun, and praise Jah for whatever indoor hybrid he has allowed to grow close to you; just think of this guy; dodging rats on the highway and smoking my crumbs in deep concentration, almost as a sacrament to the other world it puts one in contact with. I know some people might say that one can attain these things naturally through breathing and gardening, but to that I say…work a 9-5 with normal people around you; with managers who you have to tell how to think, and a place with ever increasing lack of connection to people and art…more obsessed with technology and investments.

“The things you own end up owning you”- Tyler Durden

Stay High and Lifted

Jin Li Hai